The Church’s Attraction: Vulnerability
“Vulnerability is a sign of our longing after grace and mercy. It is the sign of the Holy Spirit’s deep stirring within us, and it is one of the most important attributes to cultivate in those we disciple. ”
My good brother and mentor, B.J. Weber, led New York Fellowship for over 40 years, discipling men from all walks of life - from Wall Street barons to homeless people barely surviving. He was always saying, “We as the church, Christ’s body in the world, have to be an attraction for the gospel before promoting the gospel.” In other words, people must see in us, in our relationships, something that is an attraction for the gospel! It is counter intuitive, but vulnerability, the quality that shares our human condition with fellow sinners, is one of the very strong attractions. It expresses our brokenness before God, establishing a level playing field in our relationships for those whose hearts are being humbled. I experienced this in my college years at Penn State University with the Fellowship of Christian Athletes group on the football team. Their openness to share their failures, as well as their victories, drew me closer to them. This spurred a growing attraction to the gospel in me. They were men of God who boasted in their weaknesses, not their bench press!
Vulnerability is the condition of the heart that cries out for help, forsaking personal pride and self-image. It is seen in step one of the 12 Steps in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), where people admit that their life has become unmanageable due to drugs, alcohol, gambling, lust, or some (fill in the blank) sin, and they are powerless to change it. This transparency must be expressed to another because it is the entryway for our life with God. This quality was identified as Jesus' first beatitude, “Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 5:3 ESV). It is our confession of self-poverty before God. The kingdom of heaven that Jesus came to usher in is expressed through his church in this brokenness and vulnerability. Here’s the way Jesus expressed it to the apostle Paul, “He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you. For my power is made perfect in your weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest on me’” (2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV).
This is the very thing Paul continually demonstrated in his life. In Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, he wrote, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1). Leading with our failure is counter cultural today, and it was counter cultural to the Corinthian church in the first century as well. As men, especially, whether in business, sports, or dating, we are taught to lead with our success. Though, we see men and women everywhere leading with their resume of achievements. This endless comparing and competing leaves us all alone. Boasting in our weakness, however, results in Christ’s power being manifest in our lives to do his will for his glory.
Writing on this verse. Greg Ogden states, “In other words, his (Paul’s) converts were to imitate the evidence of Christ in him … Paul was espousing good incarnational theology. God embodies his presence. He came to us fully in Jesus. Then he placed his life fully in Jesus. Then he placed his life in his followers, who became reflections of him. This is the way God has chosen to work—putting up life next to life.”1 Paul was essentially telling the Corinthian church, “Follow me, imitate me in vulnerability, and openly share the things that unveil our weaknesses so that Christ’s power may be manifested through us”
Vulnerability is a sign of our longing after grace and mercy. It is the sign of the Holy Spirit’s deep stirring within us, and it is one of the most important attributes to cultivate in those we disciple. Like the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11), we long to confess our secrets and be met in loving mercy. Confession of our sin to one another is a powerful example of this vulnerability (James 5:16). I received the quote below from one of our Locking Arms brothers very recently. I have been in a discipling relationship with him for many years. I include it here to give an illustration of practicing vulnerability through confession, both by the leader and the disciple.
“I can still remember the first time I took part in an evening huddle in the Dominican Republic where you taught and confessed your battle with lust and anger. I gladly stayed afterward to confess sins and pray with a brother. I had never done this before. You listened intently as I confessed much anger and disappointment with my marriage, mostly because of my pride and lusting for more than I had been given. Thank you for practically teaching me the benefits of openness and honesty within the brotherhood, and the freedom we have to confess our sins to one another, so we can rest in the forgiveness we have in Christ.”
Notice the deep need in our brother to experience the body of Christ in grace and truth as a means of his healing. Peter tells us that God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble (1 Peter 5:5-6). Humility and expressing vulnerability are deeply linked. Projecting to others that we have it all together is surely a sign of our pride and self-sufficiency. It is a grace-killer in our lives and in our discipling of others. When I confess my sin within a grace-centered community I help others to be vulnerable. These are the hearts in which the Spirit of God can work powerfully.
Sadly, there is an inverse relationship that exists in leadership between increased leadership responsibility and the willingness to be vulnerable with the sheep that we are leading. The higher the position the less willing the leader becomes with regard to confessing failures and sins. This should not be. I imagine that the apostle Peter shared his story about betraying Jesus countless times with Christ followers through the years who were caught in sin to restore them in Christ like gentleness.
Vulnerability, and the trust that flows from it, grows best in small (micro) groups of three to four people. For the disciple maker, vulnerability is a tool to “draw out” the hidden things in a man’s heart that represent his story. “The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out” (Proverbs 20:5 ESV).
Jesus sent out the 72 disciples (Luke 10:1) and he appointed 12 to be his apostles (Luke 6:12-14). But he really poured himself into an inner circle of three: Peter, James, and John. A group of 12 is considered “social” space where relationships can become more personal. A group of three to four (a triad, or foursome), however, is called “transformational” space.2 There are many reasons for this: everyone participates more freely in a face-to-face relationship, role modeling is more poignantly experienced, and the intentionality of transparent friendships grounded by the word of God are pursued. With these elements the micro group will become a greenhouse for accelerated discipleship, growth, and multiplication. Jesus' agony, at the Garden of Gethsemane, with his Father was the most vulnerable picture in history. It depicted a father and son’s love that is fully united and fully surrendered to one mission - accepting the judgment of the cross, bearing our sin, and taking our place so that we might be reconciled to God. Even the terror of being separated from the eternal bond of his father’s love could not deter our Lord Jesus.
Are you experiencing this kind of vulnerability with an intimate group of Christ followers?
Take some time today to journal about your experience. Are you modeling it as a disciple maker? Is it being reproduced?
What things are holding you back from this transparency?
1 Greg Ogden, Transforming Discipleship: Making Disciples a Few at a Time (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press), 2003.
2 Bobby Harrington and Alex Absalom, Discipleship That Fits: The Five Kinds of Relationships God Uses to Help Us Grow (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan), 2016.
