Thankfulness is a Matter of Perspective
It happened. Yesterday, while reading some news articles, I saw the news that I never knew I always wanted to hear. According to US News & World Report, San Diego is the most fun place to live in the entire United States. You heard correctly, where I live, San Diego, California, is the most fun! I am so thankful that I don't have to move!
Now, to be clear, I live in a suburb of San Diego County called Oceanside, but we still get to claim the title. As you can probably understand, I told this news to my four kids who gave me the "Dad's giving us useless information again" look. How am I supposed to think about this? I mean, now that the word is out, will the expectation and pressure increase? What will I do for family, friends and ministry leaders that come to visit us here? Will they think it is fun as well? What do I have to do to keep up this reputation? Will it reflect poorly on me if people who visit don't think it's fun? So much pressure!
This headline did get me thinking about what makes San Diego the most fun place to live. Who sets the standard of fun? Is there a new gadget on Amazon that is a fun detector? I have had hours of fun with random objects like fidget spinners and Pop It! (ask your kids), so maybe I am not a good candidate for determining what is considered fun.
I only had to read a bit further in the article to get to the gist of what makes San Diego "the most fun." The article makes it clear that San Diego got this title because of its "restaurants"—we do have some good ones—its "numerous parks that allow residents to soak up the sunny weather"—I can attest to this as well—and finally, because residents get to "enjoy the San Diego Zoo, Sunset Cliffs Natural Park and Old Town San Diego State Historic Park any time they want." Amen and amen!
Wow, that does sound fun! Having four kids, I have frequented all the locations this article says make San Diego the best! We have gone to the beaches, the Zoo, Sea World, Balboa Park, and some excellent restaurants that have been altogether amazing in the context of their respective "fun factor." However, this didn't satisfy my curiosity about what made these places fun in the first place. You see, I have been to all these places and had a great time at each one but I have also been to these places and had a less than ideal experience. In fact, I have been to all these places and had a terrible time!
Several months ago, my family and I went to Sea World. Due to COVID, almost everything in the entire park was closed and it made me wonder why they even opened their gates. It was terrible! All the restaurants and rides were closed in the park and the shows were a shell of what they used to be. I even think I heard a seal cough (COVID?). The few open attractions were understaffed and weren't fun at all. Sure, you could put your hand in one of the tanks and pet a fish or a stingray, but it would only make your hand smell like fish the rest of the day. You could watch one of the shows, but because of the limited crowd size and distancing requirements, the "fun" factor was just not there.
Another time we went to the San Diego Zoo, where it rained the whole day (so much for "sunny San Diego"). I don't know if you have ever had the pleasure of walking around outside all day in the rain pushing a stroller while four kids constantly let you know that there is water coming from the sky and, if that weren't enough, when we got back to our car the whole windshield was shattered. Not fun in the slightest. There are also restaurants here in San Diego that never live up to the hype. Bad service, food that doesn’t look like the picture and $20 to park your car at the restaurant! No thanks. Don't get me started on all of the times at San Diego beaches we lost flip-flops, towels or goggles to the sea (I apologize for my family's contribution to the Great Pacific Garbage Patch), the times we all got sunburned because of the huge difference between SPF 15 and 50, or when our beach umbrella got caught up in a gust of wind and looked like an invisible Mary Poppins took it for a spin and threw it on the ground in a fit of rage.
We have all been to these famous sights and done all the cool things and have checked all the boxes that would complete our fun list. We have been to these places and more, but the truth is that every one of these places, every one of these days that were less than ideal, every one of these fun places that turned out to be a dud of a day was a memory that I will cherish forever. It doesn't take a super-intelligent person or a thrill-seeker to realize it wasn't the places we went or the things we did, but rather the people we did them with that made each place significant and memorable. You see, in each of these adventures, I was with my family. Included in each of these stories there is a memory, a reaction or an unrealized expectation. Each experience had laughs, tears, exasperation, but all of them are memories that I wouldn't trade for the world.
In each of these situations I could have said I would never go to an amusement park, the zoo, the beach, or a restaurant again and that we would stay home from here on out because of the bad experiences but the truth is, giving thanks is a matter of perspective not a matter of experience.
The concept of thankfulness is not new. Thankfulness is mentioned over 100 times in scripture and with good reason. It is God's will for us to give thanks. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (ESV). As a pastor, the most common question I have received over the years is a simple yet significant one, "What is God's will for my life?" The funny thing about this question is that it is answered in the Bible repeatedly. In this instance, the Apostle Paul tells us that God's will for our lives is to give thanks! And not just when things are good, but to remember that in all circumstances, good or bad, to give thanks to God. How do we do that practically? Besides saying thanks to God before a meal, how can we express thankfulness to God and others?
1. Look for the good in all things.
Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (ESV). The good in life's most difficult situations can be hard to see sometimes, but that only means that we must look harder for it. Give every situation and circumstance to God, knowing that he is in charge of all things.
2. Pray without ceasing.
1 Thessalonians 5:17 tells us that it is the will of God to pray without ceasing, meaning we are always conscious that God is with us and is always hearing us. Let's face it, it is hard to be ungrateful when we are in prayer and intimate fellowship with The Father. Prayer is something for me that puts my selfish and ungrateful heart back into alignment with His heart.
3. Think the best and not the worst in people.
1 Corinthians 13:7 says that "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (ESV). I know that I can become ungrateful when I believe the worst in people and God himself in my personal walk. When my thoughts track towards the love of God, and when I put love above all else, it will actually take work on my part to be ungrateful towards others.
4. Set your mind on the things above.
In Colossians 3:1-2 we are told, “If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth” (ESV). It is hard to be ungrateful when your heart and mind are set on The Kingdom of God. Keeping your eyes fixated on His Kingdom makes it that much easier to have the right heart in every situation.
5. Serve others.
This one is the simplest and yet the most profound ways we can express thankfulness to God and others. As disciples of Jesus, when we die to ourselves and serve others we become less focused on ourselves. I know this sounds ultra-simplistic, but the truth is, when we stop focusing on ourselves, it is far easier to see the work that God is doing around us. This change happens when we shift from thinking we are at the center of our lives to that of others becoming the center of our lives. Jesus said if you want to find your life, you must lose it. If you're going to be great in God's Kingdom, you must serve people (Mark 8:35, Mark 9:35). At so many times in my life, I have found that by simply serving other people I am not focused on my problems, sin, shortcomings, or failures. When I am other-focused, I can be more grateful for all that God is doing.
